kekecewaan bertandang lagi :(

well . as he said . he's coming back this week .

kan sudah cancel . yelah . parents blk kg sane .

and ohh . . sudah aku plan nk pegi jumpe dye kat kk .

and aku dgn penuh semangatnye memasak . dye ckp windu nk mkn masakan aku .

tp . tbe2 dye smpaikan lagi satu berite yg kurang sonok aku dnga .

dye kate . family sume pegi penang . blk ntah bile .

dlm ati aku . cume tuhan yg taw .

ssh btul . byk btul dugaan nk jumpe dye .

sudahla byk soalan yg ingin aku tanyekan kat dye . byk sgt . sms je abis kdit topup blk pown ta ckup lagik . byk sgt soalan aku neyh . HAHA

takpelah . andai kate aku gerak lambt sket ke kuantan . mgkin ade jodoh jumpelah kami :)

insyaAllah .

btw , syg kate tidolah b . sha ta suke b berjage . nnt sakit .
well . mgkin sikap paranoia menguasai diri skrg .
i must stay awake . i must ! b nk kol sha . dnga sore sha . b takut ta pat dnga sore sha da
b takut nk tido . takut nnt b ta manun dah .
T^T

p/s : sudah pown b agak akan jadik mcmneyh punye . takpela syg . terime jelah :)

given up ,
theDibaLukaDuka

pilihan sukar

i know i know .
its not easy to get over everything that happened .
i'm the one who eager so much for the truth . then when i found out .
it hurts alot . i'm still healing tho . keep holding on . STILL .

ahh . lupekan aje . lupekan . pls .
kepercayaan tu penting kan ?
HAHAHA

satu demi satu berita yg tak brape mggembirakan .
mengecewakan . tp terpaksa terima juga . tak mengapelah syg ;)

last weekend u told me u're coming back .
so i said . i'll wait for u . i miss u so damn much . i do :(
suddenly . u tell me that u're not coming back this weekend .
KECEWA LAGI . itu je yg ade dlm hati .
u said u're sorry . sorry for making me sad again . i said it's okay . but u know it's not true . kan syg . tp takpela . nnt jumpe jugak .
cume . .
NTAH BILE LA KAN :(

lately u're too busy .
with all the trips . and events .
rutin tipikal pelajar kolej . takpe . b paam . sometimes b pown camtu kan syg :)
tambah bile ade jawatan . lagilah busy aje . still . b paam lagi .
tp . bile ade peluang bole blk . knape syg tanak blk ?
yelah . musim hujan kan skrg . b pown tanak pape jd kt sha odw blk cni .

sha mtk b pegi sane jumpe sha .
camne b nk pegi ?
dgn sape ?
b nk sgt pegi sane .
sha pown nk sgt b g sane .
sha janji if b g sane sha nk bwk b pegi tgk kolej sha . tmpt sha salu lpk . umah sha .
b takut nk mtk tlg kwn2 sha .
bkn sbb b segan atau ape . kwn2 sha . kwn2 b jugak . dr skolah lagi kite same2 .
tp . b takut nnt sha mara dkt dowg lak .
sha mara b rapat dgn dowg . after all they all are guys . b paam .
plus . b rase mcm tak brape slesa klu sha xde n b dgn dowg .
b tanak t sha pk yg bukan2 .

erm . k la syg .
b da tataw nk bwat ape lagi dah .
if b ade t'salah kate ke .
menyakitkan hati sha . b mtk maaf .
b syg sha sgt2 <33
b syg sha infinity n 4eva too syg :)
like u always said . takde sape yg mng . yg ade saling syg menyayangi . i'll keep that syg . i'll always keep that in my mind . thanks syg :)

p/s : b nk sgt jumpe syg . syg jela blk cni . bole ? :(

terlalu merindui ;
theDibaLukaDuka

what if ?

aku masih lagi dgn dilema yg same .

too much of " WHAT IF "

what if i just stay at home and do nothing . what'll happen to me ?
what if i just go and help my mom . what'll i get ?
what if i just go and help my dad . will i not get angry with his worker yg gedik nk mampus tu ?
what if the rumours are true . will i ever have the will to move on with my life ?
what if my parents divorce . with who i'm gonna stay later ?
what if i failed my paper this semester ?
what if something bad happened to me ?
what id i die tomorrow ?

what if .

this what if . is just a what if .
but . if it's really happening to me .
i hope i'll have one last chance to see him . and tell him how much i love him .
i hope i could forgive each and everyone that had done so much chaos and hurts me all these while
i hope i can see my parents stay together . happily ever after . like they used to .
i hope . i can change myself . to be a better person .

too much hopes


p/s ; syg , b tggu syg blk . b janji ;)

me;
theDibaLukaDuka

dari hati

dear sha;
btul ke keputusan b neyh ? u said u love me . only me . for me . not others . but i think i've changed alot now ;(
sha , sha kate tanak gado . b ikut . tamaw gado . nnt saket ati kan . sha kate . jan i-u dkt myspace sha tak suke . b tak bwat . demi jage ati sha . b tak approve budak laki add b . setakat neyh da ade 50request . sume pending . b tanak gado . b biarkan aje . tp sha . bile ade pompan add trus approve . sha kate kwn je . okaylah . b nk sgt jage ati sha . tp sha ?
igt tak mase b kuwa g seremban dgn classmate b ? sha msg b . kate sha igtkn b da lupe kt sha . tp . mase sha kuwa dgn kwn2 sha . ade sha pk perasaan b ? b kate okay . tp ati b ? sha pown rase sakit kan ? sha tanye b g mane je . knape tk smpai2 lagi . bile b tanye . sha jwb odw nk blk . tp . tak blk sbenarnye . b taw sha cube jage ati b . tp . bile kantoi . double triple saket ati b T_T
b usha2 classmate b punye myspace . ade ke b kat top pwen dowg . adela yg ltk . tp . mostly tak . itu b ta kesah . sbb b taw b tak rapat dgn classmate b . tp sha . b tgk . sha kate sha budak ste . tp . nape kat budak hotket perempuan ade plak sha kat top pwen ? knape bole jadi camtu . sha kate kat sane sha tak kwn sgt dgn dowg . lgpown classmate sha sume laki . b tawlah peminat sha ramai kan . mesti sha happy . b takde peminat pown . tak cantik . sapela b ni . bile b membebel sha kate rimas la apela . tp sume tu utk sha jugak . lpstu . bile da jadi masalah . last minute baru carik b . awal2 tanak gtaw . b neyh sape sbenarnye kt sha ?
15th anniversary kite . b da agak hp sha kene amek . sbb tbe2 sha trus diam . b pegi jugak camping sem lps . b brusehe msg sha gtaw hp nk kene amek . tanak sha risaw . tanak sha ssh ati . risawnye b . tp b tunggu wish goodnight sha 3mlm . bile sha da dpt hp blk . b happy sgt . tp sha kate sha penat . tak larat . xpelah . b suh sha tido . tp dlm hati . ermm . esoknye . b nk msg dgn sha . igt nk kol sha . tp tbe2 sha diam . bile b tanye . rpenye sha tgh on9 . upload gamba kt myspace . sha tgh lepak dgn kwn2 . bile b kate pegila smbg dlu . sha rply okay . b rase mcm tak dihiraukan lgsg .
b usehe tak kuwa lepak dgn classmate b . sbb b taw classmate b ade yg laki . nnt mesti tgkap gamba same2 . nnt sha mara lagi . sha tak suke b tgkap gamba dgn laki laen . b tak bwat dah . tanak buat dah . tp . sha ade jugak je tgkap gamba dgn budak pompan kat sane . b taw . tmbh pulak jpp . takkan takde . kat sha takde . kat page owg len ade . ade je selit sane sni . b nmpak . cepat2 b alih . tanak nnt pk bukan2 . tp . taw jela . ati tetap terase sikit .
sejak sha msuk blaja . sikit demi skit nmpak sha berubah . care pakaian da ubah . care ckp pown da ubah . takpela . sha kan da msuk kolej . mesti ade perubahan . sokay lah . tp takpela . b ttp syg kat sha . syg sgt2 . happy 4th anniversary syg . moge taun dpn sumenye akan jd lebih baek . b sentiasa doakan yg terbaik utk sha . Amin .

happy anniversary syg ku ;) 15th November

[ oh . after i checked my draft . i havent post this one . tapi takpela . post je . lmbt sket pown takpe ]


i've been waited for few hours already .

but still no sign of him . i really hope that he'll call me somehow .

and wish me " happy aniversary syg "

tapi . i knew . he'll nvr show up .

in silence he left me . tak bgtaw pown hp kene amek . tho he told me before hp dye mgkin kene amek . sokay lah . i'll just keep on waiting . kan ?

today is my last day in melaka . after exam aku da bole blah dr tmpt neyh .

tp . for me . its like . kuar kandang rimau . masuk mulut buaye . btul ke peribahasa aku neyh ?

HAHA . life's just a journey . travel to the future . leave the past behind . they said .

aaaa . . takpela . btul jugak . takla teruk mane duk umah

cume perlu mengadap my parents . yg tak brape nk parents da ;(

p/s ; syg . b tggu neyh wish . mane syg neyh . japg b nk exam dah . da 3hari tak msg . rindu . saket ati pown ade jugak . haha . happy anniveresary again syg ;)

kerinduan;
theDibaLukaDuka

another day leaving this house

kali neyh terlalu byk yang terjadi .

perit untuk dicoretkan . tapi aku cube utk move on .

dah 2 paper settle . aku kat uma skrg . membwat coretan terakhir before pulg melaka esok .

yeeeeee . . sume tanye nape awal sgt . sbbnye . biarlah rahsia :))

well . . lame2 aku kat umah pown bkn ade bwat ape .

and sgt pelik rasenye . 1st time aku blk sndrik nek bas . rase kekok mgkin . tp takpela . bile lagik nk blaja nek bas blk sendiri kan . sume bab aku dah berdikari . situ je belom . HAHA

lagi 5hari . semester 3 akan berakhir . sekejap lah pulak rasenye .

and . lagi satu bulan 20hari lagik tamat sudah taun 2009 . wah . mmg pantas .

haha . sudahla . mgkin mase utk aku tido skrg . brg pown masih ade yg perlu dikemas .

nnt aku update lagik okay

p/s : yes sayang , i am very disapointed that u cant come back and see me . and u dont have the time to text me . but hey . its okay . we'll meet next year . kan ? till then . u know what i feel . kan ?

yang haru biru ,
theDibaLukaDuka